yo man let me tell you a thing about the fucking us education system

my mom works her fucking ass off as a regional manager for company a, a position she got after 25 years of fucking climbing and clawing her way up from an entry-level position. she works eighteen hour days sometimes (not including air travel time).

so she marries my dad, right? only he’s a fucking piece of shit and racks up $100,000 of debt circa before 1995. so suddenly all that money she makes is going towards that. whoops.

boom. i enter college because this is the only way for a person to obtain a job in this society — with a college degree. and because my mom makes “too much money" and because i have a piece of shit for a father and because her entire fucking salary is going to pay towards things that were bought and traded and sold years before i was born, i do not qualify for financial aid.

i pay as much money as someone with two working parents in nice stable jobs because i’m juuuuust over that little border that says my mother is apparently too fucking rich for me to attend university for anything less than $20,000 a year, despite the fact that so much of her paycheck goes to pay bills.

that’s $80,000 not including books, transport costs, money for me to eat

and that’s kind of fucked up

Finals Week To-Do List


  1. Write a bunch
  2. Study hard
  3. Don’t eat real food
  4. Have nervous breakdown
  5. Cry
  6. Procrastinate
  7. Pretend like there’s nothing pressing to do
  8. Stare at words until they no longer make sense
  9. Forget how to make words
  10. Scream obscenities at inanimate objects

I have accomplished all but two of these things.

(via englishmajorhumor)

so i think i got a good start on my term paper time for a break

in celebration of the last quarter, here’s a summary of everything i’ve learned and retained thanks to the school system


"Lesson One: Introduce Yourself

Share a little bit about yourself! Write one thing not many people know about you.”

parent: so where do you want to go to college
me: idfk wherever i can afford and get in
school: yeah but where do you want to go
me: somewhere i can afford would be nice
friends: what about somewhere hot? or cold?
me: well i'm thinking somewhere i can afford so i can be partially financially stable after school
everyone: but you're not thinking about everything!
everyone: what about the temperature
everyone: and how close you are to family and friends
everyone: and--
me: fuCK OFF

but do i really need that textbook


don e  


goodbye, college

i quit

so long

let’s play a game

it’s called “how long is it going to take for my fifty pound bag to break”